Sometimes you need 

To drive 22 hours to hug your Pop and share an beer. 
The stress I’ve felt over the past 14 months, since my concussion, has been at times overwhelming at times non-existent. The passing of Roland, Ross, Schilling, Nana, Tanner, and most recently my father in law Ralph all while teaching myself where to put my keys again…  For the record, FUCK! …the always present ringing in my ears…fuck dude, that could wear on ya.   

But you know…. We’re not supposed to talk about this shit. Showing weakness in a world of dick measuring, road rage, testosterone filled, keeping up with the joneses … That’s not supposed to happen!!!! I’ll tell you what, I have zero fucks to give. None left. Think less of me because of this drivel? Am I less of a man? Sorry to disappoint. But please, do let me know…I’ll be anxious awaiting your call…operators virtually standing by. 

 This is me and this is the shit rolling around in my head.   

I could say 2015 can go fuck itself, but then I had some amazing times…not race times (those sucked, not that I care). I had some amazing adventures and rode almost every race with a friend. Ronde de Rosey was so dope. True Grit…got to know Paul in the recesses of personal hells. I road farm to SSAP with awesome ppl. TSE has stories I’ll take to my grave and I rode almost everyday with Gary and Ryan. Wilderness 101 was with my boy Mitch. Shen Ryan and his friend from Spoke Easy in Charlotte. Found myself with a keg in the woods on more than one occasion (that shit is magical) Did the last 24HOGG. VT50 with Rave, Cookie and Kimarie. I threw a house party for friends far and wide and it has been called “epic”. Went to two amazing weddings. Got hugged by clouds with my Pop wife and daughters. Getting my 44, just amazing to think that Kris was thinking about me when he welded those tubes.  

2015 really was super FCKN bipolar. 

Super duper rad. Super FCKN awful. 
Thanks to my wife and kids, I made the most out of every opportunity and had as much fun as I could have. 

My friends are amazing…I called this guy on my way to Pop. I needed a place to stay, but honestly, I really needed someone to talk to.   


So instead of going to Watts Fappening, because my Pop is going through some shit….I drove 22 hours, to share a beer and give him a hug. Hang out for 46 hours. Drive 22 hours back. 
Best use of time ever. 

Hugged my pop. Drank some beer. Rode my bike and cleared my head…and emptied out my mind and spewed this nonsense. 
I posted an Osho quote…I believe firmly in it. I’m a blessed man you control your happiness. 

So to recount…I really wanted to recap all the magic of 2015 talk about fat cyclist deciding not to take a selfie with me after looking at my waistline…. but in reality I’ve fought some form of depression since my concussion in late 2014. However, for the love is g_d don’t feel sad for me. I’m sharing this nonsense for ppl to understand… Brain injuries suck, have some empathy give people breaks and above all…

Own your happiness. 

I’m a blessed man.  


(I wrote this several weeks ago and only decided this weekend to publicize it). 


2 thoughts on “Sometimes you need 

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